Portrait of T. R. Schumer

T. R. Schumer

Author, Screenwriter

Funny Money

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A fast-paced and whip-smart thrill ride... Judge, 5th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published eBook Awards.

Sebastian “Sebo” Corrado is six foot six and on paper after serving two years of a three-year sentence for car theft, but any thought of starting over and finding a new life is off the table—his old boss has big plans. Alfonzo Lanzano is also serving the tail-end of his sentence on the street. An Italian immigrant from Naples, Alfi’s skilled talent as a master engraver, and unwitting expert counterfeiter, has made him far too valuable of a criminal asset to be allowed a life of his own. Bill Mazurek is a career peace officer who’s nearing retirement and looking forward to spending his time as he pleases, instead of punching a clock and babysitting felons for the Manatee County Department of Corrections. His experience and record regularly earn him the unenviable job of overseeing the county’s toughest parolees, so when Sebo’s file lands on his desk he’s not the least bit surprised. What Bill never expected was that his final parolee case could truly be his last…

All Sebo's told is that he’s been given “a maintenance job”, but the job turns out to be guarding the boss’s most valuable asset—an expert, and highly skilled counterfeiter by the name of Alfonzo Lanzano. Trapped in the only life he’s ever known, Sebo shoulders the load and does as he’s told—helping to move millions of dollars’ worth of counterfeit cash through South Florida’s Cuban mob. Then something unfortunate happens—Sebo wins the lottery. Under the thumb of a local crime boss, under the thumb of his probation officer, and unaware that he’s now worth over two hundred million dollars in legitimate cash, Sebo struggles to keep it all together, and keep himself from getting sent back into lockup, but when the news finally breaks that he’s the big winner, Sebo finds out just how bad his luck really is…